By Richard Salbato
I was asked by many people to
expand on my last Newsletter, Sins Against Purity Cause Wars. Father
Bart believes we should start a movement within the Church on Purity and
Dating. I love the idea, but personally I am a hermit and too involved
with my own family to organize anything. I will, however, offer
guidelines and suggestions for those teachers and priests who want to
bring Purity and Virginity back to the Church. For over ten years now I
have been writing Newsletters on Moral Theology because more people
today go to Hell for sins against morals than any other reason. Some of
those Newsletters are linked below.
I suppose the most
controversial Newsletter I have ever written on Morals is one of the
first I ever wrote. It was a result of people asking me why I did not
get involved in the Right to Life Marches and Sit-ins that my friends
were involved in. Quickly without even thinking I said, “Abortion is
not the problem.” At the time I did not even know what I meant by that
but I went home and wrote out the answer. That was 10 years ago. Today I
tried to find it on my web site, but it disappeared so I re-posted it.
Abortion is not the Problem
I’ll try to not repeat anything here
that I have already written in the above document but these two
Newsletters should be read together. In the Newsletter, Abortion is not
the Problem, I make the point that dating is the mother of sins against
the flesh in our times. I saw this in confession when I said that I
promise to “avoid the mere occasion of sin”. I remembered the movie
about Vincent Van Gogh when his friend said, “You paint to fast.” He
snapped back: “You look to fast.”
Like most people when I saw
that Padre Pio had separate confessions for men and women, even separate
rooms, I though he was just a little too old fashioned. When I read
that boys and girls never went to the same schools, I thought they were
just old fashioned. When I learned about “going out parties”, I just
thought they were old fashioned. When I learned about “finishing
schools”, I just thought they were old fashioned. I watched old black
and white movies from the 50s and 60s and saw that even when in love
people never even touched, but thought how old fashioned that was.
Perhaps I thought: “Maybe I am looking to fast.
Maybe people back
then knew things we have forgotten. Maybe they were the smart ones and
we are the stupid ones. Maybe I should investigate why they did what
they did and why we do what we do. Maybe we are accepting as moral what
is the root of immorality.
Lets look at the problem today of
sex outside of marriage, homosexuality, the rise of divorces, the rise
of people living together without marriage, the rise of pedophilia, the
rise of abortions, and the lack of morals throughout society. Why has
sex replaced love? Why is there a rise in frigidity among men and
women?
Teaching Sexual Relationships
I teach my
grandchildren, 13 years of age to 19 years of age, weekly religion
classes. For adults I have structured classes but for teens I just
answer questions. In this age bracket they want to know about
relationships more than anything else. They want to live in the world
but by God’s rules. This is hard. To understand how hard, you have to
know the peer pressure and the need to be accepted. I had to first
teach them what is natural to our nature and why it is good. God
created what is natural for good reasons, but He also gave us the moral
law that we might regulate what is natural. When you teach about sex,
you must not make it a bad thing, because it is a wonderful and holy
thing that God created.
I use the example of soil and dirt. Both
are the same thing, but soil is in place used for what God intended.
Dirt is soil out of place and not used for what God (nature) intended.
God
created man to be attracted to women, and he starts this attraction at a
very young age, 8 to 10 years old. Man does not know why but he just
likes women. Women start younger because they mature much faster. A
woman is sexually mature about 10 years sooner than man is. She is also
more sexually aggressive. You are going to disagree with me right now,
but I will explain this later.
God designed this in man and
women because He said be fruitful and multiply. Even in the animal
world it is almost emotionally and physically forced on animals to have
sex for the continuation of the species. In the animal world we call
this being “in heat” but we fail to see it in humans. We also fail to
see the family structure of animals, birds and fish, and we think of
family as a man made thing rather than something natural to our nature.
When ever we violate what is natural to our nature, we end with a
disoriented nature, a sick nature.
God designed woman to mature
physically and mentally faster than man, because the nature of man is
not so social or loving, whereas woman is both social and loving at an
early age. It takes longer for man to mature and to even be able to
support a family and wife. Because of this difference I advise both men
and women to keep this ten year difference in mind when looking for a
wife or husband.
In the old days a woman’s “coming out party”
was about when she was 16 years of age. This is when the family invited
all the young men to their home (with their parents) to show off their
daughter, who was now of age to look for a husband. For the first time
in her life she would dance with boys, in front of her parents. Before
going to this Coming Out Party, she would go to Finishing School. In
this school she would not learn language or math, but how to walk, how
to act, how to greet people of different classes, how to eat, and in
short, how to be a lady. Men also went to Finishing School but they did
not call it that. They learned manors, a trade and manliness, even
sometimes how to fight. The boys were also taught dancing and proper
dress for different occasions.
Today the average age for women
starting their period, and therefore their sexual yearning, is about 12
to 13 instead of 16 years. I think it is because of TV and the
promotion of sex in everything we do. The brain affects the body and
this exposure to sex causes people to mature physically too soon. I say
too soon because mentally they are not ready. The balance of mental
and physical maturity is disrupted.
Now I am going to say
something that will surprise most people unless you think about it a
great deal without looking too fast. Men do not really want sex before
they are at least 17 or 18. They do not even want to make out or get
too involved with girls other than keeping them company. Boys really
want romance but not sex.
The reason we think this is crazy is
that boys seem so aggressive today, but this aggressiveness is caused by
peer pressure. Boys are made to think they are not men unless they
have sex and even press for it. In truth even when pressured by other
boys and even the girls, they are hoping the girl says, “No!” Sometimes
a girl will even drop a boy who does not want sex. This is true today
and common but not true in the past. Because of peer pressure and a
lying promotion of open sex on TV, most girls think they are not loved
unless the boy at least tries to have sex with them.
This is a
huge problem for boys between 12 and 17 years of age because although
they are capable of sex they are not ready for it mentally or
physically. They feel like they have to do it but often this will cause
problems in them that may last the rest of their lives. This might
become a hidden dislike for women, or at least disrespect. This mental
and physical difference in age of men and women sometimes produces
homosexuality in men because they are threatened by women but do not
know why. Unlike what you read, homosexuality in American is only ½ of
one percent of the people and not 10% but they do not want to admit that
they are mentally sick caused from some sexual trauma. This mental
sickness borders on the demonic because it so violates nature. It often
leads to pedophilia, because sex for nothing but personal satisfaction
and not out of love ends up by hating all that is pure. It is even a way
of showing hatred for God. The pedophile hates God and everything pure.
Female homosexuals have a different cause. They are not born
that way as our “tolerant” society wants you to believe. A woman’s
sexuality is more mental than physical and the physical is mostly
external and not internal. A man can somewhat enjoy sex even with
someone he does not like. But a woman must be somewhat romanced and
treated kindly before she really enjoys sex. When she continually has
unfulfilled sexual experiences over and over she turns to the person who
understands female sexuality, another woman.
“My children
might “make out” a little bit but they do not have sex.” This is what
some parents say to me but it is bull crap. I have an easier time
explaining what is wrong with this to children than I do to adults.
Think about the soil and the dirt. God designed the human body
perfectly. It get hungry when it is time to eat but it can be trained
to only be hungry once a day, like in my case.
God wants married
people to have sex because it is good and even wonderful. But their
first has to be some stimulation that makes sex possible. God designed
the human body in such a way that tender touching and kissing stimulates
the body so that it is capable of sex. In the man it even causes the
sperm to be generated so that birth is possible. In the woman it
lubricates so that sex is possible. This can start by just holding
hands.
This is good and even wonderful when two people are
married. It is even sacramental and one of the greatest expressions of
love there is. However, what happens then when two people stimulate
their bodies for sex but then do not have it. The stimulation calms
down a little but does not go away. It builds up in the same way that
smelling good food over and over and not eating it effects the body.
The next day the sexual drive still lingers and might manifest itself in
many ways. If this continues it could produce aggressive behavior or
even ways to escape the feelings through alcohol or drugs.
This
must to be explained so that “making out” is not thought about as
innocent or sinless. It is very sinful and is at the root of all sexual
sins. This is why un-chaperoned dating is so wrong and the root of
sexual sins, the main road to Hell.
Men are voyeurs, meaning
that they can be sexually stimulated by visual things. God created man
this way for the same reason he created women so beautiful. As the
bible says, even the angels are tempted by the beauty of women. Since
sexual stimulation without sex causes all kinds of root problems that
are all sinful and even mentally harmful, it behooves women to be very
careful how they dress or act. This does not mean not to dress for
beauty but just not to dress provocatively. It also means that good men
should understand that any visual sexual stimulation on TV or the
printed media should be avoided for good mental health and good morals.
Personally I do not understand why people would even want to watch two
people kiss. These things are personal and not any more public than
going to the bathroom.
What then is purity? Purity is not
sexless although many sacrifice all sex for the Kingdom of God. Married
people who have very active sexual lives can be very pure and even
saintly. Many married people with lots of children have been canonized
as saints. Purity is not dressing in sackcloth. Purity is not avoiding
the opposite sex. Purity starts and stops in the brain. Purity is a
mental attitude more than a physical compliance. One can do all the
right things according to God’s will and law but without being pure of
heart, you cannot be called pure.
When you want to obey all the
laws of nature and the laws of God because it is the best way to be
charitable to yourself, to others and to God, then you can be called
pure of heart. This is what it means to love God and others with your
heart and soul. Prudish, Victorian people are not pure, they are
selfish. The pure of heart wants to give all to God and others using
the gifts God gave for good.
This is not the time to talk about
this because I want parents and children to read this, but just before
marriage men and women should be taught that it is God’s will and the
law of love to make sure that your loved one enjoys sex. This might
seem obvious but it is a big problem in marriages and does not have to
be. I do not think this should be taught until just before marriage
because it can lead to sinful thoughts and acts if done too soon.
You
would be surprised to know that in some societies in the Middle East
and Africa they castrate women because they do not believe women should
enjoy six. This is also a sin against nature and God, because God
designed sex as an expression of love, joy and pleasure. It is a lack
of love when someone does not care if the other does not have this joy
and pleasure. I will not talk more on this, but those who want
information on this can email me.
Our Lady of America calls all
Americans to purity. Our Lady of Nicaragua predicts World War III. The
two apparitions go hand in hand, because there will be a World War III
and if America changes her ways regarding sex and abortion, we can
escape the brunt of this war and even lead the world back to peace. The
main recruiting tool of Radical Moslems is the moral corruption of the
west. Let us take that tool out of their hands, and put God on our
side. Let us also take the tool of justice out of God’s hand by ending
the root cause of abortion, dating and free sex.
Stop un-chaperoned dating.
Richard Salbato
Pray an Our Father now for reparation for the sins committed because of Francis's Amoris Laetitia.